The future leaders of America.

(This following “report” was actually turned in to one of my colleagues. This is from a lower-level College Prep physics class. It is entered here exactly as it appears on the paper. Yes, this guy is a native speaker.)

The BGM-109 Tomahawk Cruse Missile

Its pinpoint accuracy makes the Tomahawk the idea long rage weapon. If it from the battleships in the Persian gulf or the submarines of the Mediterranean this missile is the best of the best in long range missiles.

After being launched a soled propellant rocket makes cretin that the missile is on corse and at the right altitude. The soled rocket is something like a big firework. The fuel is turned into a solid like in the space shit with soled oxygen. The fuel in this rocket is packed with a type of gunpowder like a bottle rocket would be. This part of the rocket is known as the booster witch weighs about1400Lbs.

Why Japanese want to learn English.

or at least, what the copyeditors want them to think.
Found via boingboing, go to the link for more reasons.
neomarxisme: March 2005 Archives: “This ad for the Gaba language school asks Japanese people to fill in the blank: ‘If I could speak English, I would…’ Ads with quotes from ‘real people’ in Japan are often written by copywriters, but even if these aren’t actual answers, the responses provide a glimpse into the process of a Japanese company selling English to possible customers. (Click on ad to see a larger picture.

Here is a translation of the first several responses:

I would live in Hawaii with lots of dogs.
I would go by myself to buy in London antique shops.
I would eat all the desserts in the world!
I would go to [my company]‘s foreign office and become project leader.
I would buy the materials for aroma therapy and mix them myself.
I would open a shiatsu massage parlor in Hollywood for celebrities.
I would lecture the loud foreigners on the train.
I would raise my children in America: one artist, one computer programmer.
I would go work in a foreign marketing firm.
I would start a dental office for foreigners.
I would run a surf shop in the Gold Coast.
I would live in a house where I could wake up and dive right into the pool.
I would want to increase my income by 100x.
I would publish a weekly manga magazine in the English language world. “