At the end of the March trip, the entire team had dinner at the Wynn Buffet. The Wynn Buffet is one of the best buffets in Vegas- personally, my favorite part was that they used a bandsaw to pre-open the snow crab legs for easier dining. Kyle’s favorite part was their thermonuclear candied apples, which had some excessively hard and brittle candy coating. In fact, it was hard enough that dropping it onto the table from a height of about a foot didn’t even chip the coating.

While there, we talked about various promotions and comps that casinos had. One comp involved going to a shooting range, where a store had many comparatively exotic firearms for rent such as M249s and Barrett .50 cal sniper rifles. A few minutes ago, we had been talking about pets and animal shelters, so I suggested a new comp thing where people could use their comps to go to the shooting range and donate to animal shelters. In exchange, when shelters needed to euthanize animals, they would instead be turned out onto a shooting range where people would take aim with the Barrett .50 cals. Considering that a bullet that size would blow a 200-lb mule deer into pieces, it’d red mist a typical housecat or pet dog.

At this point, everybody was staring at me, and one of the other degenerate gamblers in the group asked me what the hell was wrong with me.

Hey, it seems like a much kinder, quicker death than the asphyxiation methods that some places use. If I had to pick, getting my head blown off by a bullet the size of a paperweight seems a lot faster than being strangled.