My boss, the head of the science and math department of the district, recently held a meeting to discuss our status. In it, he addressed the implementation of the new middle school math program which began 3 years ago, and our improving test scores in that cohort.

Recently, there’s been an idiot on the school board who’s been making a big fuss about our “low test scores”, selectively picking obsolete data to “prove” his case.

My boss got pretty worked up about this, which led to him giving a pep talk about how even though our 8th graders are pretty well prepared for this year’s test, that teachers might want to review anyways because “with each point that higher we average on that test, we jam the metal rod up that fucker’s asshole another inch!” He was getting all red in the face too. I thought he was gonna have an apoplectic fit.

That was the most surreal pep talk I’ve ever sat through.